Isaac Dian is: Naive
by Hannan
Summary: In which we explore how Isaac and Miria pillage the streets of New York City trying to steal the hanky-panky right out from under their noses!  One-shot; Fuzzy line parings lol,  Rated T because of... well, hanky-panky. XD


A/N: I was writing down words describing Isaac a few days ago, and my favorite was naive. Because really, they are probably the cutest, most naive people you could ever meet.

Disclaimer: I simply borrowed these brilliant thieves!

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><p>It was on an incredibly important mission that Isaac Dian, with his faithful partner Miria Harvent, when they ran into their friend Firo Prochainezo in the grand theater in New York City.<p>

"Hey Isaac! Is that you?"

Dismayed that his hiding spot had been found out, Isaac glanced at the source of the voice, trying not to break the pose. Albeit a bit hard to keep pretending to be the "Woman's Room" sign when wearing a tuxedo, the Dians were known for excellent acting abilities. This had led him to believe that he could pose as the "O" in the sign effectively, and it perplexed him greatly when he had been noticed so quickly. _Maybe he's talking to another Isaac!_ He thought, pleased. He continued with his disguise.

But Firo was wily, and saw through it after another second. "Isaac!" He exclaimed, clapping his friend on the shoulder, unaware of the trauma he briefly put the brilliant actor through. "What're you doin' here?" He glanced around. "And where's that lovely dame of yours?"

Realizing who he was standing in front of, Isaac lit up. "Firo! Good to see you!" He hugged him, slapping his back a few times before releasing him and beaming. "Miria will return momentarily!"

Tipping his hat, Firo grinned and held up a play's program. "You just see that play? It was a good one." He leaned forward, winking, "They were makin' a lotta hanky-panky if ya know what I mean."

Isaac's eyes widened, his brow drawing together. "'Hanky-panky', huh? Sounds intriguing."

Firo laughed, a bit confused but mostly uncaring. "We'll hafta catch up soon, 'right? I gotta go talk ta some people."

Isaac, still thinking, came to himself in time to wave goodbye to the green-clad mobster. "Of course! Bye!"

_Hanky-panky, huh? Firo seems to think that that is a very good thing, so I bet if we got some, we could become millionaires! I wonder where we could get some of that, anyway? Hmm. _

Just then Miria Harvent, his always faithful partner, appeared and whispered, "I got as much as I could. Let's get out of here."

Once they had removed all the toilet paper from Miria's evening gown, they proceeded to wrap her in as much of it as they could. And once Isaac, (Isaac Dian, of course, the one and only!), had changed into his safari costume, complete with his Adventure Hat, they were off to the museum.

The night was an eventful one, what with trying to steal the mummy of King Tut, leaving Miria in his place, panicking at the door because _Where's Miria?_ and resolving the whole matter with the security guard civilly over a game of charades with King Tut winning four rounds. Miria got a good nap in, too! (The guard gave her an open invitation to sleep there whenever Tut was out)

As they changed into their newest clothes, Isaac shot Miria a question, "Hey Miria," he leaned down to buckle his right boot.

Miria stood, adjusting her wide hat. "What's that, Matey?"

Isaac straightened, tying on a bandana. "I have a brilliant idea for what we should do tonight!"

Miria bent to pull up the last skirt over her petticoats. "Really? Wow! And it's only 3 in the afternoon!"

He grinned his debonaire smile, bending to pull on his left stocking. "The best ideas seem to come to me early in the day, it seems!"

She stood, fastening the gun belt over her skirts. "Incredible! What are we going to do?"

Isaac jumped up, one leg up on the bench gallantly, "We are going to steal the 'hanky-panky'!"

Miria brightened, not noticing the odd stares they were garnering from the park patrons. "Wow! What is that?" Not far away, a few elderly men were giggling like schoolgirls.

"It's everything, my dear! It is what is going to make us rich!" He jumped over to her, grabbing her shoulders and motioning widely in the sky. "We'll have more money than all the Gandors combined!"

She bubbled, "Wow, Isaac! That's a lot! Where do we start?"

He paused, only momentarily, and then began gesturing up and down, up and down. "We'll start where any good band of pirates would start; the shops!"

After being kicked out of three stores for trying to finagle where they kept their supply, (of hanky-panky), and kicking two young boys out of two stores for trying to touch bars of candy they obviously had not bought yet and when they tried to explain their deception of _We were going to pay for it!_, Isaac put them in time out with a kind old man and his silent granddaughter.

They walked down the street, their identities hidden away so securely that everyone looking at them didn't even wonder once if Isaac Dian and Miria Harvent were dressed as pirates that night.

"Hey, Isaac?"

"What's that, Miria my dear?"

"Have we found the hanky-panky yet?"

"Ah, you've realized our empty-handedness." Isaac put up one finger as he continued, "However, a good thief always does something called, 'casing the joint.'"

"The joint."

"Yes! What we have been doing is finding out which places do _not_ have what we are looking for. Now we are going to strike."

"Strike!"

"Yes! Swiftly! And we are going to do it... there!"

Jabbing his finger at the first available shop, Isaac triumphantly declared, "This will be our greatest job yet, Miria. Are you ready?"

She beamed. "Ready!"

They burst into the store, toy swords out and ready. "Madame," Isaac announced, "You are being robbed by two of the most famous thieves in all of history, or at least New York City. Hand over any and all hanky-panky you have, or we will be forced to use our weapons here."

(Neither of the two had even noticed they were holding up a store full of ladies' delicates)

The woman blinked.

"Our weapons are dangerous!" Miria put in, wielding her toy bravely.

Finally the shop keeper's silence broke, sending her into rolling fits of laughter. "You're trying to steal all the hanky-panky?"  
>Isaac and Miria were bouncing on their toes slowly, going up as high as they could. "What's wrong-" He began.<p>

"-with that?" Miria finished, rolling her shoulders around, her partner joining her seconds later.

The lady stood, still laughing. "I like you kids. I guess I can let you 'steal' some stuff. How's wholesale sound?"

Miria thought about the word for a second, deciding she liked how it sounded. "I like it!"

"'Right. Stay here, Captain." She said, motioning vaguely for Isaac to sit. "We'll be back soon."

Miria waved goodbye and gave him the thumbs up. He returned it, stretching his arms and legs as he wound down. _That was harder than I expected! I suppose 'wholesale' would mean the whole sale is nixed, eh? Yeah, I've got it there._ He straightened his long swash-buckling tailcoat.

He began tapping his fingers. _I wonder what's taking so long? We need to stash this tonight, too! _

A few _long_ minutes later, the saleslady called, "Hey! You wanna see the finished product, Buddy?"

_Perfect! She won't know what hit her! I'll be back and Miria and I can take as much as we can carry!_

He strode to the back room, and stopped. Miria was wearing... practically... nothing.

Indignant, Isaac took off his coat and gave it to her. "My lady!" He said, turning to the shop keeper. "There is no excuse for rude hospitality. If you wanted her to change clothes, you should have the decency to provide a new set."

Miria was wearing the coat with her nose in the air.

"The nerve of some people." He said, grabbing her hand and leading her towards the door.

"The nerve."

The shop keeper went home very confused that night.

Once out on the street, they began waltzing around the lamp posts. "Hey Isaac,"

"What's that, my dear?"

"Did we ever find the hanky-panky?"

"What's that I hear? Are you the ones trying to find some of that tonight?"

The duo turned, stopping mid-spin to find a dark man grinning at them.

"Do you know where they might have some?" Miria asked, clasping her hands hopefully.

The man laughed. "I think I might. I like that pretty coat of yours, Miss."

Isaac leaned in. "You know we spoke to the lady inside that shop there, and she was extremely rude."

"You don't say?"

Miria pouted. "She was. Look! I traded her my pirate costume, and all she gave me were these!"

To prove her point, she opened the coat and then closed it again.

"Yes!" Isaac put in, "It's just disgraceful! That is no way to run a business!"

The man was wide-eyed, grinning like a kid. He held out a fifty dollar bill.

"Thanks, lady."

"You're welcome!" (She assumed it was for the warning about the store)

He turned, beginning to walk away. "Best hanky-panky I've ever seen. Thanks for showing me." He muttered, laughing.

Glancing at each other, Isaac's face lit up. "Miria! You know what that means?"

She was beaming again. "We found it, Captain!"

Isaac clasped his hand around the one Miria still help the money in, triumphantly shoving it to the sky. "We are the greatest hanky-pankyers in the world!"

...Isaac Dian is: naïve...

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><p>AN: FOR MORE ISAAC & MIRIA FUN! My friend and I, (who cosplay Isaac and Miria, respectively) have a working Ask blog for these two! askisaac-n-miria (dot) tumblr (dot) com! Love to you all! *Muah!*


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